Cognitive dissonance has been seen around these parts

Daniel Of The Boustrophedonical Perspective
Phosphor shall rise above a moon of sorrow
And we shall know such a day as never was,
Tomorrow, or a day after tomorrow,
Do what you will and when, love whom you please.

ODE IN WARTIME, Kenneth Allott

British. Passionate about the things I love - fine use of words, vintage clothing, textile and dress history, social history, creativity and macabreness. Oh yes, and Doctor Who, Sapphire and Steel, and The Avengers - that whole genre pleases me greatly. I never cease to be surprised by the random things I know about random things. My brain is a rattle-bag of trivia. Now for the psychological self-portrait.

Often unmotivated and uninspired, yet capable of caring deeply about people, and for maintaining a deep and enduring love for the foibles and charm of humanity and the people that I consider my friends. I am a contradictory person. To many people I am quiet, reclusive, noncommunicative and difficult to get through to. To an extent I guess I encourage this, even though that isn't really what I am, and it makes me glum. I'm a social person, I love communication and value being with friends. Yet all too often I make little effort to do these things. Most times, I am myself only when I am online.

Technically, and I hate admitting to it, I am totally deaf. Personally, I do not identify as Deaf. I am just someone whose language is that of the visible. The written word, the scrolling text in a chat window. The ubquitious notepad and pens which I always have on me in real life. For me, the Internet is a world where I can socialise normally - chat in real time, say things under my own steam, not worry about my pad soaking up beer.

My first language is English. I do not sign, but I know a bit of British Sign Language. NEVER, ever try to pigeonhole me under "Deaf" - no matter how gently you try, I'll get very upset and defensive. Ironically, I should apply that driving force to many more things - since any obstacle that gets thrown my way usually tends to make me give up and concede defeat. I hate it, and I hate that I'm like this where I'm concerned. I'll fight for other people, argue with them, listen to them, try to help them - but when it comes to myself, ah - I guess I'm useless, really. ;) And I need to work on that!